The KEY to the other side
by hiddeninthedarknessofdaylight
Summary: Elly Hunter's been away from home since the death of her best friend, Edward Elric. But what happens when she finds out that Ed isn't really dead? Will what she's learned help her to bring him back? ...There's always a way through the Gate......
1. Back to Central

It had been a long time since I'd last been in Central City… almost four years, actually

It had been a long time since I'd last been in Central City… almost four years, actually. And I still wasn't sure about coming back to the city now. After wandering around for so long, I wondered whetheror not I would still call Central my home. No, I decided. What had held me here so long ago was dead and gone.

Not much in the city had changed. A few buildings had been replaced here and there. Some had been taken out altogether. But other than that, the city was the same as it had been when I'd left. Shops and small restaurants still lined the streets, their vendors and owners calling to passerby in an attempt to entice potential customers.

Looking at the shops only served to bring back unwanted memories, as always accompanied by a fresh stab of pain from the place where my heart used to be. Damn. I'd promised myself not to cry…

Averting my eyes from the charming and colorful window displays, I continued towards Headquarters with a longer stride.

I wasn't entirely sure why I'd chosen to respond to the General's latest summons. I'd ignored all of them in the past four years and had made no attempt at concealing the fact that I'd read them. Sometimes I'd even written back. If I had been anyone else, I'd probably have been discharged or court marshaled by now. Lucky for me I'm me, I guess. In spite of my best efforts, I couldn't quite seem to get myself killed, and Brigadier General Mustang apparently didn't feel like getting rid of me yet. Guess I'm just too damned valuable.

I mentally reread the letter from Mustang. Heh. The way it was written, it was hard not to think of it as more of a letter than a summons. Somehow, it seemed more personal-sounding than the others he'd sent me in the past. Part of me wondered if I'd come back to Central just to find out why his writing style had changed.

_To: Ellandra Hunter – The Key Alchemist – _

_Elly – I know going back to Central is probably the last thing you want to do right now, but you've really left me no choice but to order you to come home. If you never follow another order again, I need you to respond to this one. Elly, I'm ordering you (formally, of course) to arrive at Headquarters in Central City by the 21__st__ of this month (that's two weeks from now, by the way)._

_Sorry, Ells, but it's important._

_Brigadier General Roy Mustang – The Flame Alchemist – _

I sighed inwardly. Important, huh? But if I had Roy's permission to ignore all the rest of his orders from now on, it was worth coming back for this one.

Maybe I should just _ask_ to be discharged.

The gatekeeper stopped me just outside of Headquarters. Of course, he refused to open the gate for me. Well, it wasn't my fault if I couldn't answer the stupid summons because the guy wouldn't let me in. I seriously thought about turning around and leaving.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I'm afraid I can't let you through."

He was a small weasel of a man. If I hadn't known about the wide variety of weapons he, and all military gatekeepers, had at his command, I probably would have tried to push past him. Not that I wouldn't have succeeded anyway.

"And why not?" I demanded, not in any mood to be dealing with security.

"Only military personnel are allowed past this gate."

"I _am_ military personnel." _I hope._

"Really…" He obviously doubted my claim. I didn't blame him for that. I didn't exactly look like I was in the military right at that moment. _I _probably wouldn't have believed me. "Name and rank or title, please."

I flashed the sliver state alchemist pocket watch at him. "Ellandra Hunter, state alchemist. _The Key Alchemist."_

He clumsily saluted me. I rolled my eyes. "Nice to see you back Lieutenant Hunter."

_Lieutenant? Damn it Roy! You're not supposed to change my rank when I'm not here!_

Without hesitation (and fully intending to scold Mustang for my promotion), I strode though the gate, marched up the front steps of the building, passed a hell of a lot of very surprised office workers, and stopped short of pummeling General Mustang on his way out of his office. Right on time.

Roy actually looked surprised to see me, believe it or not. Or rather, he looked surprised to see a tan, dirty, still rather short, 19-year-old person who looked kind of like me.

He blinked a few times. "Elly?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Roy."

"You actually came…"

"You seem surprised."

"A little, being as you haven't bothered show up for the last fourteen summons I've sent you. Did you even read any of them?"

"Some of them," I shrugged. "You said it was important?"

"Yes, yes I did. Come in here for a minute."

He led me back into his office and shut the door behind us. Most people would have been shocked at the way Mustang and I treated each other. But we were old friends, so we didn't really let rank get in the way of our arguments.

"So," he began, sitting down at his large desk. "What do you know about a guy named Scar?"

"That same Ishabalin guy who decided to kill us all a while ago? Yeah, I remember him. That was one hell of a mess."

"He gained some followers before his death –"

"What an untimely event," I mocked.

Roy ignored that comment. " – and they've been doing their best to eliminate the rest of us."

"So why don't you take care of that, Roy? Isn't that your job?"

"We weren't very worried about it. Most of them weren't any match for the state alchemists. But about three months ago, a character who's going by the name Rage started leading them."

"'Rage'? Is he going for the whole homunculus trip? So why don't you take the guy out?"

"We've tried, but she's proved to be a bit elusive. We can't seem to find her until she strikes, and she's been killing off alchemists by twos and threes."

"And you called me in – closer to the danger, I might add – because…?"

"There's only three of us left, Elly. Just you, me, and Major Armstrong."

My stomach took a dive. "What about Al? They didn't…" I trailed off, unable to complete that train of thought. Al was like a brother to me. I didn't think I was capable of losing him, too.

"Al disappeared with Edward into the other world two years ago."


	2. Explanations

I quickly reviewed the math in my head

I quickly reviewed the math in my head. Somehow four years and two years didn't seem to coincide. "Disappeared with WHO?!"

"Edward."

"Edward's dead," I said flatly. "He's been dead for four years."

"No. He hasn't."

"YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN THE REASON WHY I LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE?! ED'S GONE! I WATCHED HIM DIE, REMEMBER?!"

"Elly, please calm down and listen to me."

I really did make an effort to regain control of myself. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

"Explain yourself, Roy… _now_."

"We all thought that Ed had died that day. I even went into isolation at a military outpost up north to try and escape Central for a while. Your plan worked better than the rest of ours. _We_ couldn't even find you for the first year-and-a-half. But about two years ago, Al discovered a strange gate/portal thing that led to the other world. As it turns out, Ed wasn't dead after all. He'd just been stuck on the other side of the gate. And then… well, it's a long story."

My mind was reeling. "Gimme the quick and ugly version."

"Okay," he shrugged. "Ed and Al opened the Gate. An invasion force emerged on Ed's side. Ed helped us fight them off and then went back to the other side to destroy the Gate in that world. Al went through with him and they've been there ever since."

Three words kept running through my mind repetitively.

_Edward is alive. Edward is alive. Edward. Is. Alive…_

Then…

"ED'S ALIVE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

And also…

"ED _CAME BACK_ AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

And finally…

"Ed's not coming back again… is he…"

"No. I don't think he is." Roy didn't seem overly happy about it either. "I don't think he can…"

Then I remembered something rather important. "What if… what if someone went and got him?"

"Elly," he almost sounded sympathetic. "There aren't any other ways through the Gate. We destroyed the circle."

"There's always a way through the Gate…"

"What are you saying Elly? That there's another way to pass between the worlds?"

"Kind of. While I was… traveling… I discovered a rather interesting anomaly in the fabric of existence. These anomalies occur seemingly randomly, but they can be tracked, or so I've found. They're sort of like a series of glitches in a really complex computer program. You can calculate where they're going to show up if you know enough about them."

"And you can predict these things."

I shook my head. "Better. I can create them."

Mustang's face went white as a sheet. Sheesh. It was almost as if he didn't believe me or something.

"… c-c-_create_ them?..."

"But they only last for a few seconds – just long enough for someone to slip through."

"And you can create them from the other side, too? Elly, have you tried this before?"

"It has something to do with changing the way energy works on each side of the Gate. Once you understand what's going on, it's not _that_ difficult to do."

"You've been to the other world?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"When do you want to leave?" There was no fooling Mustang.

"Why not now?" I really was fairly eager to leave. Now that I knew Edward was alive, I wanted to see him as soon as possible. Nothing wrong with that, right?

"Okay."

Then another thought occurred to me. "Wait, what about Rage?"

"What about her?"

"I'm not about to leave you and Armstrong to fend for yourselves. We're all in this together, whether or not we like it. Rage takes first priority."

"You'll be back in time for the fun if you hurry."

"It's not that easy, Roy. It could take a really really long time for me to find him over there. It's a big place and I don't even know where to start."

"Try Germany."

"Huh?"

"Germany. That's where he was two years ago."

"So?"

"You have a place to start. NOW GET GOING!"

"But…"

"_THAT'S AN ORDER, LEIUTENANT!"_

I grudgingly obeyed and opened the gate right then and there.

"Thanks, Mustang… for everything…" With that and a smile, I disappeared into Europe.


	3. A Good Start

Where in Europe I was, however, I had absolutely no idea

_Where _in Europe I was, however, I had absolutely no idea.

"Now, if I was Edward Elric, where the hell would I be?" I murmured to myself, at a loss of what to do.

"Edward Elric?" inquired an overly curious woman with short gray hair in the flower shop I had materialized in front of. Lucky for me she thought I'd been standing there for a while.

"Yes, do you know him?" I asked, hoping for a lead and marveling at my good luck.

"Are you a friend of his?"

"We used to be very good friends, but I haven't seen him or his brother Al in a very long time."

"You know Al, too?"

I smiled, extremely pleased with the way this was going so far. "Yeah. We used to study together a lot. Do you know where I can find them?"

"I'm sorry, but I haven't seen them in months. Last I heard, they'd left for France when word of the war broke out."

"France…" I muttered. "Great…"

"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help."

"Do you know how I can get there?"

"Hm?"

"France. Do you know how I can get there?"

The woman eyed me speculatively. "You're not from here, are you?"

"Ma'am? From Germany?" I ventured cautiously, eyes narrowing.

"No. From _here_. You're from Edward's world, aren't you." It was more of a statement than a question.

I stared at her in complete shock. _How could she possibly know?!_

She laughed good-heartedly at my reaction and held out her hand. "I'm Gracia Hughes. You're Elly Hunter, aren't you. Edward used to tell us stories about you."

I could have laughed at my own stupidity. "There aren't many stories about me to tell." I took her hand and shook it.

"All the same, he talked about you enough. I knew your eyes from the way he'd described them. You seem a bit sadder, though, than I'd imagined you."

"Yeah," I muttered. "I'll bet I do…"

"So you want to find the boy, huh?" Her eyes perked up as she teased me.

I nodded. "It's really important, but I don't know this world well enough to get around as quickly as I need to."

"What's so important that you have to find him. Couldn't you just call him?"

"Do you know his phone number?" I replied flatly. "No. I need to talk to him in person."

"You could ask him to come back here."

"I don't think he'd believe it was me…" Wow. I was sounding _really_ lame.

I didn't really think he wouldn't believe me. I was more afraid that _I _wouldn't really believe he was alive unless I talked to him face-to-face.

She laughed. Gracia had one of those laughs that made you want to laugh just because she was laughing. I couldn't help but smile. "I think I know someone who can help you."

I looked at her questioningly.

She smirked. "We just won't tell him all the details."

I grinned. This wasn't turning out so badly after all.


	4. Train Rides and Tall Tales

God, I hate trains. They're loud, bumpy, and uncomfortable. _Especially_ when you end up traveling with someone who can't stop yapping about his family. Don't get me wrong, his wife and daughter are amazing people. But a person can only look at so many adorable photographs without struggling to control an already-short temper.

So, as Maes Hughes – Gracia's loving husband – rambled on about his gorgeous family, I stared out the window at Europe. I had no idea what I was going to do once I _got _to France, but I hoped Hughes might help me out a little if he could shut up for a while.

And his resemblance to the _other_ Maes Hughes was beginning to creep me out just a little bit.

Mind wandering, I wondered whether or not I could use alchemy in this world. Determined to find out, and having nothing else to do other than continue to listen to Hughes's babbling, I clapped my hands together and frowned as nothing happened. Hughes paid no notice.

Then it occurred to me. If I had to change the energy to create a Gate, why couldn't I use the same concept to perform alchemy? Concentrating as hard as I possibly could and blocking out Hughes as much as possible, I felt the raw energy flow through my entire body, sending electric shocks to my fingertips. I hadn't even gotten around to clapping my hands when I transmuted the red window curtains into glass.

"What the hell was THAT?!" Hughes was nearly out of his seat. He suddenly looked extremely afraid of me.

I grinned, satisfied that my experiment had worked but unsure exactly _how_ it had worked. The laws had been bent. I hadn't clapped my hands or drawn a circle and the fabric of the curtains had transmuted into something completely unrelated. Unless the curtains were made out of fiberglass, which was more than unlikely, I couldn't figure out how that had happened. What the hell, indeed.

"Just a sort of magic trick a friend of mine taught me. I wanted to see if I could still do it right," I lied. It would be better for Hughes if he didn't know I could do alchemy here.

His eyes were instantly alight with curiosity. "Really?"

I frowned. "I don't think I got it quite right, though." I changed back the curtains, again not clapping. "Interesting…" I murmured.

"Cool!" He was obviously overly excited. "Hey, could you do that at my daughter's birthday party?"

I laughed, genuinely honored. But I knew I had to refuse, for as much fun as that sounded. "I only know the one trick. I'd be a bore at a party."

"Okay. How about Christmas?"

We both laughed. It had been a long long time since I'd laughed genuinely. Maybe emotions weren't so bad after all.

"So you're looking for Edward, huh? I always knew he'd end up with a pretty girl like you."

"Huh?"

"In fact, he used to tell stories sometimes about someone a lot like you. I can't remember what he called her, though…" His eyes widened as he remembered. Damn.

"Ellandra Hunter," I said solemnly. "Her name was Elly Hunter." I shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of the fact that I was a character from a "fictional" story. "Ed always did have a knack for fiction. Calling simple magic tricks 'alchemy' or something and twisting the truth in every which way. I never thought I'd have made my way into one of his tall tales.

Hughes laughed, but his eyes remained suspicious. However, he diverted the conversation. "More than one, Miss Hunter. And he always got this funny look in his eyes when he talked about you. His descriptions _almost_ did you justice."

"You're teasing me," I laughed. All the same, I was curious. What had Ed said about me? "Besides, Ed tends to over exaggerate."

"No, no. He described you perfectly – as if he were looking at a photograph instead of a memory. 'She was gorgeous,' he'd say. 'Her eyes – alight with mischief most of the time – were as blue and gray as the sea on a stormy day. You could drown in their depths so easily. Her hair in the sunlight – short and brown, but almost sparkling as the sun hit the little bits of red. It liked to fall in her face a lot, but that was okay because she always made that funny little face when she pushed it away – like she was annoyed with it. And her laugh! It was if the heavens opened up right if front of you and her smile lit up the stars and pushed through the clouds. And damn, she fought well. She danced more than dodged. Maybe she enjoyed the movement of the fights more than the actual violence. She danced like that all the time, but when it came down to parties and stuff, she always claimed she couldn't dance at all. I guess I understand what she meant, though. It's not the same. I remember this one time when…' Then he'd launch into yet another story. I'd say he described you pretty well, though."

I was absolutely stunned. "_Ed_ described _me_ like that?"

"Every time…"

We were both silent for a few moments. I didn't know why, but _I_ suddenly felt like telling a story of my own.

"Did he ever tell you the one about how we met?"

"Nope, he seemed to have missed that one. Do you want to tell it?"

"I warn you, I'm fairly prone to fiction myself."

Hughes laughed. "Get on with it!"

I grinned and began, wondering why it was that I wanted so badly to remember the things I'd tried so hard to forget for four years…


	5. First Day on the Job

_Elly was on her first stay in Central. She felt proud that she'd passed the state alchemy exams. The Fürher had given her a title that very hour. It sounded kind of dorky, but that was okay for her. The Key Alchemist._

_The second-youngest person ever to become a state alchemist at the age of thirteen, Elly was very pleased with herself. After all the time she'd devoted to study she finally had her chance to explore and learn even more. But she wasn't just focused on alchemy. She knew that she couldn't let herself become dependant on her alchemy because it was too easy to lose control of. She wanted to develop other skills as well. The military just seemed like a good way to do it._

_She had been unpacking some of her things from a small suitcase and backpack she had tossed on the bed earlier when she heard a sharp knock on the door. She checked to make sure she had a knife within easy reach when she called for her visitor to com it. _

_A golden-haired head poked in, grinning widely. "Hi!" he said. "You're the new alchemist?"_

"_Yup," Elly replied, going to the door to greet him. "Elly Hunter." She extended her right hand towards him and nearly gasped when she felt the cold bite of metal against her skin. Then she figured it out. "You're the Fullmetal Alchemist, right?"_

_He looked pleased that she knew him. "Edward Elric. Nice to meet you."_

"_Ummm… Would you like to come in?"_

"_I don't want to interrupt…"_

"_Too late," she laughed. "But I wasn't really doing anything anyway." _

_Edward stepped inside and looked around. He couldn't have been much older than Elly, if he actually was older. His eyes were a warm golden color. And, best of all for him, he was about an inch taller than the girl. _

"_Wow, they didn't exactly give you the best room," he frowned, looking at the ugly peeling wallpaper and semi-broken furniture. _

"_It's okay, I guess. I won't be staying here long, anyway."_

_He grinned. "Do you want to fix it up a little?"_

_Elly's devilish grin was answer enough as the blue and green flashes of alchemic light began to light up the room. It didn't take long for everything to be put in order. They'd been good friends ever since…_


	6. Damn it, Elly

(Edward's POV)

_(Edward's POV)_

I didn't know why I kept thinking about her. Her face, her smile, her eyes, her laugh… they just kept flashing through my mind. These were the only memories Noa, with her strange and uncanny ability to see into my mind, had not seen… not because she didn't _want_ to see them, but because I kept all my memories of _her_ locked away in a little box at the back of my mind. I used to be able to tell stories about her, but I can't now. It hurts too much.

It doesn't hurt to talk about the others – Roy, Hawkeye, Winry, and the rest. But when I even _think_ about her it feels like I'm being ripped apart from the inside out. I don't understand why, and, despite Noa's assurances, it's not getting any better with time.

When I went back home two years ago, it was only for a few hours but I knew what had happened to everyone. Izumi was dead. Roy had gone into isolation before the battle, but continued to act as General upon his return. Everyone else was fine… But I didn't know or hear anything from _her_. There was nothing – no news, no contact. All Winry could say was that she'd disappeared not long after I had. Maybe she'd gone to the East. Maybe she was dead. No one knew – or no one would tell me if they did know.

Maybe it hurts because I don't know that she's alright… maybe because I know that I left without saying goodbye… because I know that I abandoned her again…

Damn it, Elly…


	7. In Paris

(Back to Elly's POV)

_(Back to Elly's POV)_

France was a strange place in wartime Europe. The smoke from the battlefield hung thick and heavy in the air. Hughes and I had to stop at various checkpoints, and the fact that we were coming from Germany didn't really help much. Luckily, neither Hughes nor I had overly German names or faces, so we got off a bit more easily than some of the other travelers.

When we _finally_ reached the train station in Paris, Hughes was feeling a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Do you have any idea of where to start looking?" he asked, shifting his eyes through the crowd nervously.

"I have absolutely no idea. Relax, Hughes. You're going to attract unwanted attention if you look so nervous." I paused for a moment, looking around and giving Hughes a chance to get control of himself. "Got any bright ideas?" I asked after a while, completely at a loss.

"We could ask people if they've seen him."

"_That_ would turn out well…" I imagined the scene…

ME : "Excuse me, sir? Have you seen a nineteen-year-old boy with long blonde hair and golden eyes who comes from another world and likes to tell stories?"

PERSON I ASKED : "OH MY GOD!! YOU'RE GERMAN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"

_Everyone screams and runs away. Mass hysteria engulfs France. End scene_

Hughes shrugged.

"Besides," I added. "I don't speak French well. And neither do you, I might add."

"Good point."

We both were silent as we thought of a solution. I came to realize that standing in the middle of a busy street to think wasn't one of my best ideas.

I sighed. "I think our best chance is just keeping our eyes open." It was a long shot that Edward would just walk by us one day, but I could hope, right?

Just then I saw a familiar face from across the street. What the hell was Roy doing here!! I thought he was back home! Then Lt. Riza Hawkeye emerged from the crowd dragging a little girl beside her.

Doubles.

My heart sank. If everyone in our world had a double in this one, Ed and I had to have doubles too. Even I Hughes and I asked around for Ed, we were likely to just find the guy who _looks_ like him.

Someone tapped me lightly on the shoulder. I spun around, hand reaching for my knife, to face a kindly old man with vibrant blue eyes.

"Ellandra?" he asked, looking baffled.

"Y-yes?" I choked out in surprise. I decided to pretend like I knew him, which was easy enough being as he was speaking English to me.

"Why aren't you with Edward? He was looking for you this morning. You know he's leaving for the front tomorrow."

"I wish he wasn't." I kept up the charade and acted like I knew what I was talking about. "But I can't seem to convince him otherwise… Are you sure he's at home? I didn't see him while I was there earlier." I lied. So sue me.

"You know, now that you mention it, I think he said something about going to the bar on the East side of the city. I'm not the one who told you, though. He'd never forgive me if I told his wife that he was out drinking. I'll take you there if you want."

Wife? Whatever. "Yes please, that would be _so_ helpful. Come along Mr. Hughes. We'd better go save Edward from his beer."

The old man shrugged and led us through the crowded streets of Paris to the bar.

Hughes and I thanked the old man profusely as he left us outside of a bar that had a name I'm glad I can't pronounce and waved us inside.

"What was _that_ all about?" Hughes muttered by my ear as we stepped into the dark and smelly bar. The smell of unwashed bodies and alcohol overwhelmed me and threatened to overturn my stomach. I hate bars almost as much as I hate trains.

"I improvised, sorry." I really was, too. I hadn't meant to worry him, but following the old man had seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Fair enough…"

I quickly scanned the crowds in the room. It was almost six-o-clock already, so the tables were beginning to fill for dinner. Hughes went to go get a drink, which was understandable, so I continued to search the corners of the room with my eyes.

A drunken man stumbled over at me and grabbed the skirt I had borrowed from Gracia, leaving dark grease marks where his fingers touched the fabric. He slurred something at me incoherently.

"What?" I sighed in exasperation, wanting the man to go away.

"Sing!" he shouted. "You will sing for me."

"Excuse me?!" But he was already bodily dragging me towards a crude wooden stage.

Furiously, I yanked my arm out of his greasy grasp. "No," I told him firmly, as if I were talking to a disobedient puppy instead of a man.

"Sing," he insisted. "You will sing."

"I don't sing." I protested.

By then, as my disastrous luck had it, the idea had caught on and shouts for my singing came from all corners of the room. Damn it. I hoped Hughes wouldn't be mad at me.

I was shoved unceremoniously onto the stage by the drunken man. In the process of glaring darkly at everyone in the room when I spotted a pair of very shocked golden eyes.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared back at the face I'd been dying to see ever since it left. He didn't believe it was me, of course, but I knew it was him by the excited face sitting next to him.

Alphonse was pointing excitedly at me as he talked at Edward, who wasn't paying any attention to what his brother was saying.

I snapped out of my stunned stupor and desperately tried to find a way to let him know that it was me.

… maybe I should sing after all…

I settled on a song that I knew he'd read in a book back home. I hoped he'd remember the words.

_Same old thing every old day_

_Nothing changes, at least not for long_

_Since you left, I've felt it every moment_

_Wishing that you'd tell me it wasn't true_

_Starting at every footfall that reached my ears_

_Holding on to letting go_

_Wanting so bad to tell you the truth_

_Now impossible_

_My heart's sorrow sounds shrilly in the night_

_Maybe you can hear it_

_You're the dream I let slip away_

_I want to find you again_

_You're in my head_

_Can't think straight_

_Replaying memories of the time I spent with you_

_Seems like everything reminds me of you_

_That you're gone_

_Your face, your eyes, you haunt my dreams_

_Every time I close my eyes_

_No rest to be found_

_Your gold eyes shine in the night_

_Call me back_

_Call me back to the light._

_For once in my life I'm at a loss_

_Don't know what to do_

_Just want to see you again_

_Your face, your smile_

_Hear your voice_

_The pain is overwhelming_

_Can you hear me?_

_Do you hear your name at night?_

_Can you hear me scream in the darkest recesses of your mind?_

_Something inside just won't let go_

_Want to die_

_But must survive_

_I don't know how to save myself_

_The shadow of your touch is far too much to bear._

_Haunting my soul_

_I have to run…_

_Run from the memories of you_

_But I can't escape myself, my mind_

_My heart's sorrow sounds through the night_

_Maybe you can hear it_

_You're the dream I let slip away_

_I need to find you again…_

Okay, so I added some things and changed a few words. But he got the idea.

Too stunned by my melancholy performance, no one objected as I left the stage. A lone figure rose from his seat and followed me out the door.


	8. Reunion

Feeling suddenly nervous and anxious, I took a deep breath of the deep night air, trying to calm my acrobatic stomach

Feeling suddenly nervous and anxious, I took a deep breath of the deep night air, trying to calm my acrobatic stomach. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to find me.

"Elly?" His soft, sweet voice warmed my very soul.

"I thought I'd never hear that voice again… I spent a year trying to run away from it and another three trying to remember how it sounded. I'd hear it in my dreams and thought I'd never forget again, only to wake up and not be able to hear it in my mind…"

"Elly…" His voice was almost a whisper. Anguished. Sad.

I opened my eyes and turned to face him. He'd grown, but so had I. I was still only an inch or so shorter than he was – a fact that had always made him strangely happy in the past. His golden, glorious eyes bored into me, searching for answers to unasked questions. The pained expression on his face, framed by the long locks of wheat-gold hair that had fallen out of his ponytail, made me want to reach up and touch him. But I somehow restrained myself. Tied up as it was, his air fell down to brush the tops of his shoulders. But that that was as far as my eyes dared to stray from his face. It had been far too long since I'd seen him.

He seemed older, somehow. But that didn't bother me. I was older, too.

"Why did you leave again?" I asked.

"I had to. It was… necessary. I had to close the Gate so no one could get through anymore." Then he thought of something. "Speaking of the Gate, how did you get through?"

"It's… difficult to explain…"

"What was the toll?"

"There was none," I said and immediately wished I hadn't.

His eyes hardened instantly. "What about Equivalent Exchange? You can't go through the Gate for nothing." He was angry and almost sounded as if he was scolding me.

My temper rose. "I don't understand that part of how it worked! Maybe it's more like cutting a hole in the fence than actually going through the damned Gate. I don't know!" I snapped back, trying to regain control of my temper. He had no room to scold _me_.

He sighed and lowered his eyes apologetically. "I'm sorry," but he still looked angry.

I felt my own anger subside and I lowered my head in shame. I didn't want to be angry with him now. "No, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have snapped at you. I shouldn't have –"

With my eyes lowered, I hadn't noticed how close he'd come to me. His warm hand on my mouth pulled me up short and I found that I just wasn't capable of speaking. My eyes snapped up to his.

"_I'm _sorry," he murmured. "I know it's not your fault… It's good to see you, Elly." His hand slowly – reluctantly – fell from my lips.

"I came to… to find you." I'd forgotten how it felt to be around him. I'd forgotten how my heart raced and how hard it was to breathe sometimes. But damn, I loved it. If I could feel like that every day for the rest of my life it still wouldn't be enough.

"Take a walk with me?" he asked, eyes hopeful.

I glanced back at the bar. "Hughes…"

He laughed softly. "I asked Al to take care of it. C'mon."

"Okay." Wow. I still sounded lame… and really stupid.

We started off down the mostly-empty street (everyone was at home at dinner), both of us unsure of what to say. It wasn't uncomfortable, though. On the contrary, walking down the street with Edward seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to me. But there was so much that we wanted to say to each other that we didn't know where to start.

"So," Edward began, studying his feet as we walked. "Where were you – two years ago – when the Gate opened…?"

"Traveling. In the East…"

"I didn't know what happened to you."

"I would have come back… if I'd known."

"No one knew where you went."

"I was very thorough when I left. I didn't want anyone coming after me at that point."

"How long have you been looking for me?"

"Since I heard you were alive. Roy told me a few days ago."

"A few days? That was quick."

"I got lucky. I wouldn't have even seen you in the bar if that drunk hadn't pushed me up on stage." I felt my face heat up at the memory. I hated singing in public.

"You sing well. You have a beautiful voice." His face turned a little bit red. "The song… you changed it?"

"A little. You don't have green eyes, so I had to change that bit. And there were a couple other things that didn't quite fit."

"Yeah."

"So, do you like it here?"

"It's not home, but Al and I have been helping out as much as we can. We've been trying to find the uranium bomb so that we can destroy it. It's not safe for it to be here."

"It's in America."

"What?"

"The uranium bomb – it's in America. I saw the newspapers when I was there a while ago. A man there is doing research on it. The knowledge of its existence is public now. It's too late to destroy it without another one being built."

"Damn."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault…"

A thought occurred to me and I blushed furiously as I asked, "Are you married?"

He looked genuinely shocked. "What?"

Awkward!! "Never mind. It was just something someone said while I was here. Must be the other Edward…"

"Who's he married t – never mind… so, how's life on the other side?"

"Ha. I wouldn't know, for the most part. But it sounds like life's not going so great for alchemists in Amestris. You remember Scar?"

He nodded. "That was a mess."

"Well, apparently Scar had some followers. They weren't much of a threat by themselves. Bu now they're being led by someone who calls herself Rage –"

"Homunculus?"

"No, just a weird choice of names. Anyway, she's been killing of state alchemists by twos and threes for the past three months. We don't know how long we're going to last."

"You aren't getting new alchemists?"

I shook my head. "Everyone's too scared of Rage. Nobody really wants to die."

"Well, how many state alchemists are left?"

"Three."

He stopped dead in his tracks, face pale, eyes wide.

"Me, Mustang, and Armstrong."

He looked a little bit calmer. "Five, then."

"Hmmm?"

"Me and Al. You, me, Al, Mustang, and Armstrong. _Five._"

I got a small thrill out of the "you" and "me" part, but ignored the hormones as much as possible and raised my eyebrows. "You and Al can't exactly kill Rage from _here_."

"No, we can't." He was looking directly at me, fire in his eyes. Damn, he was hot. Damn, I'm retarded. "But lucky for us, you know how to get through the Gate."

"You want to go back."

"As if it wasn't what you were planning anyway."

"Good," I was satisfied. "I'd have been pissed off if I'd come all the way over here and had to go home without you."

He grinned, but the fire was still there. "Damn, I missed you, Elly."

"You'd better have," I grinned back. For the first time in a long time, it was a happy grin, not the feral, brutal, humorless expression I'd been using for so long.

By unspoken agreement, we turned to go back to the bar and retrieve the rest of our group. Ed surprised me by slipping his cold automail right hand around my shoulders. As a warm, fuzzy feeling settled itself in my stomach, I decided to wrap my own warm fleshy arm around his waist.

Al and Hughes were waiting for us outside. They both started grinning outrageously as they saw how Edward and I had arranged ourselves. They wisely decided not to say anything about it.

"Al. We're going home," Edward stated simply. Al's face lit up instantly.

"Really? How? When? Why? Have you heard anything about –?"

"Alphonse!" Edward grinned, stemming his brother's constant flow of questions. "Slow down. I'll explain later."

"We have to go back to Germany first."

Edward looked down at me questioningly. "Couldn't you –?"

I shook my head. "We could end up in the middle of an ocean for all I know. I'd rather go back to where I came through before. Plus, Gracia will want her husband back."

"If you need to go somewhere, I'm sure I can get home well enough by myself." Hughes was looking at the three of us rather awkwardly.

"No," I told him firmly. "I promised Gracia that I'd bring you home, and I will."

"We could take him with us and drop him off as we pass by." Edward clearly wanted to go home.

"It'll be hard enough to get three people through. Besides Hughes doesn't know –"

"He was there when we opened the Gate last time."

"You have to admit. Bringing him back with us would cause some problems though. And passing through the Gate is still dangerous. If I happen to get it wrong…" I shuddered, remembering my first encounter with the being called "The Truth."

Edward shrugged in submission. "Okay, so when do you want to leave?"

"As soon as the next train leaves the station."

Al checked his watch. "We'd better hurry, then."

"How long do we have?" Hughes checked his own watch.

"About fifteen minutes to get all the way across town, buy tickets, and get on the train."

Ed grinned. "Let's go, then."

We all set off running through the streets of Paris, Edward and I in the lead with Alphonse and Officer Hughes close behind. We reached the station in about six minutes. Ed and I approached the ticket booth, grinning widely from the enjoyment of running.

"Four tickets for the next train to Germany, please."

"Passports?" the woman croaked, eyes wary.

Ed called Al and Hughes away from the closed souvenir tent where the German police officer was showing off more pictures of his new family. All four of us dutifully produced our passports (Gracia had let me borrow hers and we had slipped a picture of me in front of hers temporarily… hey, as long as it worked, I don't see any problem with it). The ticket woman gave us the tickets and Ed dumped a wad of soon-to-be-useless-to-us cash on the counter. We jogged through the station, looking for the right platform. We got there just in time and leapt onto the train before it began to move too quickly.

It's an eerie feeling – being on an empty train. Luckily, that's easier to ignore when you're with friends and you stick to one compartment.

Without even thinking about it, Edward and I sat down together on one bench. Al sat across from his brother; Hughes was across from me. After a while of just enjoying each other's company, we all began to drift off in our seats. Hughes was the first to go, dozing off against the shaking window. I would have been next if I hadn't been sitting on the same train as Edward. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him for long – I felt afraid that he would disappear if I couldn't keep him absolutely fixed in my mind. And whenever I happened to glance up at his face, his eyes were fixed on _me!_ _What the hell was he staring at?!_ But even though I feared sleep as much as I needed it, I felt my eyes begin to droop shut and my head fall forward.

A strong arm hooked itself around my shoulders, but the arm's owner only chuckled as he continued to gently guide me down towards his warm side. I snuggled in between my Edward-Elric-combination-pillow-and-blanket and the seat of the train, resigning myself completely to fatigue and Edward's comforting warmth.


	9. Experiments

_(Edward's POV)_

She looks so sweet when she's sleeping. All traces of her pain, sorrow, fear, and anger fade away from her face. Her cold exterior melts away, leaving a soft and – dare I say it – _contented_ expression on her beautiful features. When she's sleeping, you wouldn't know about the many people she's watched die before her very eyes. You wouldn't be able to see the ghosts of the people she's had to kill. You wouldn't have to struggle to see through the hardass exterior she puts up. When she's sleeping, all you see is her – the kind-hearted, loving, stubborn, and _happy_ Elly that I remember.

You know, I'd forgotten how she looked when she slept. I've only ever _seen_ her sleep on trains and on the road, but I'm almost ashamed that I'd forgotten it. And _god_ I loved how she felt beside me right then as I cradled her against my side on the last train I'd ever have to take in that world. She felt warm, fragile, and precious. In that moment, I wished that I could stay on the train with her forever, just like that.

I missed her so much…

_(Elly's POV)_

When I _finally_ woke up, I was still nestled firmly, but not unpleasantly, against Edward's side. I blushed at the arrangement and was glad that he was still asleep.

Feeling something hard cutting into my leg, I squirmed ever so slightly to get away from it. Edward felt me stir and sleepily moved a little closer to me, causing the hard thing to press against me once again. I felt bad when I realized what it was. I tried not to squirm again, but the automail felt like a dull knife pressed up hard against my flesh. Inevitably, I moved. He groaned groggily and slowly drifted out of sleep. His real arm tightened instinctively around me, crushing my chest against his side. I blushed furiously, but had to admit to myself that it wasn't un-enjoyable. He looked down at me as he cast away the last few clinging tendrils of sleep, saw me blushing and – _what the hell was he grinning at?!_

"G-morning," he slurred, a very devilish look in his eyes.

"Morning," I blushed.

He glanced down at Al, who was sleeping soundly on the floor, and Hughes, who was sprawled across the other seat. He frowned, and then his eyes flickered to the window.

"It's still dark," he stated, beginning to wonder why he was awake. Meanwhile, his automail continued to dig into my leg through the skirt I'd borrowed from Gracia.

"Sorry." I hadn't meant to wake him up.

His frown disappeared as he cocked an eyebrow at me mischievously. "So it was _you_," he accused.

I smiled in embarrassment. "Sorry," I repeated.

He smiled back and didn't answer. He pulled me closer, but I winced as the metal of his leg cut into me again.

He frowned suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"Your automail's hurting me…" I muttered, immensely irritated at having spoiled the moment.

Edward moved his leg away from mine in an instant. "Sorry, I forgot about that," he scowled and sat up. I joined him and stared out the window, feeling cold now that his arm wasn't around me anymore. I suddenly had an _incredibly_ brilliant idea.

"Ed!" I gasped in excitement and jumped up. I _had_ to try it. "Ed, do you have a coin?"

He looked at me, surprise and confusion plain on his face. "Why?"

"Do you?"

"I think so." He dug around in his pockets, finally producing a shiny silver coin.

I snatched it out of his grasp and he got up to follow me into another compartment. I sat down cross-legged on the carpeted floor, studying the coin and hoping against hope that this would work. If I could do it, it meant that I could give Edward something that even his precious philosopher's stone couldn't.

He sat down across from me on the floor, but I wasn't paying much attention to him for once.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"I need to try something."

"What do you 'need to try'?"

"You'll see."

"Elly…"

"Ed, shut up. I'm trying to concentrate…" My eyebrows furrowed with intense concentration as I began to alter the flow of energy in this world to work for me. I felt it building throughout my body until it seemed as if my very blood was sizzling with the energy. I could feel the power behind my eyes and the sparks flying from my fingertips as I focused on the coin on the ground in front of me. Soon, everything but the coin was covered with a blue haze in my vision. I started to bring my hands together, but once again never got there. The coin was transmuted as a burst of alchemic energy erupted from my hands.

Quickly, the blue haze faded and I felt the energy begin to recede from my body. I was slightly tired, but otherwise fine.

I picked up the coin and examined it closely. I felt the skin, muscles, and bone beneath my fingertips and grinned widely. Extracting a knife from the side of my boot, I cut into the skin and was rewarded as blood seeped from the incision. I could do it! Here – in this world – I could transmute metal into living flesh! Damn, I was good.

Edward was staring at me in fascinated horror. "What did you do?!"

"Ed?"

"Explain! NOW!"

"It's transmutation, Ed. Alchemy."

"Alchemy doesn't work in this world."

"Not normal alchemy, no. But in order to open the Gate I have to change the way energy flows a little bit so it does what I want it to. When I first tried to do alchemy here, it didn't work. Then I tried changing the energy, like I do for the Gate. It doesn't work quite the same way as alchemy in our world, but I guess you can still call it that. The weird thing about it is, though, is that it bends the laws. For some reason, objects can be transmuted into something completely unrelated."

Ed seemed to be calming down a little bit. "So you jus transmuted that coin into –"

"Living flesh, Ed. Metal to flesh."

He immediately snapped to the conclusion I wanted him to. "That means…" His eyes brightened considerably.

I beamed at him and nodded vigorously. "Whenever you're ready. I don't think I'll be able to do it at home, though." I paused, thinking. "Actually, I might. But I don't know. We could change it now if you want."

"If you feel up to it. I don't want to push you… That _Thing_ is going to be pissed when it finds out we cheated the system." He frowned deeply, thinking of the Truth. "Elly, This could be really dangerous. You could lose yourself to this."

I looked him straight in the eye, ignoring the shiver that traveled up my spine. "I'll be fine."

"It's not worth your life, Elly."

"I'm willing to risk it."

"Elly, don't be stupid." He took my shoulders in his hands. "I just got you back. I'm not about to let you leave me for something as trivial as getting my arm and leg back."

"Ed, I have a chance at doing this and I feel like I should. I want to."

"Elly, you've already done so much for me. As if just seeing you again wasn't enough, you're taking me and Al back home! I couldn't begin to ask for more, let alone this. I'm already indebted to you."

"I want to try… Please…" I pleaded with everything I had, gazing into his serious eyes. He didn't understand why I would want to do this. But I felt like I needed to. Maybe I felt like it was my way of saying that I was sorry for not being there when he came back.

"Why?"

I couldn't resist. "So that I won't have to wake up anymore with your automail digging into me."

He laughed a little bit, but his eyes remained grave. "Fine," he resigned. "We'll try. But I WILL NOT LOSE YOU TO THIS."

We stood and faced each other, determination mingled with fear on our faces, although we were concerned about different things.

Before I could begin, Ed pulled me firmly into his arms. He held me tightly against himself. I was too surprised to object. "I don't want to lose you," he murmured. He seemed really concerned about that.

I smiled up at him, seemingly fully confident. There was no need to worry him further. "You won't, Ed. You'll never lose me again."

"Promise?"

"Mhmm."

"Good." He dipped down and kissed me, gently pressing his lips against mine. His hands were on my hips, pulling me closer. All I could do was melt into him. I felt my cheeks grow hot. He began to pull away, but I knew I desperately didn't want him to stop. However, there was still something I had to do.

He released me, albeit reluctantly, and took a step back. "Do NOT die." His golden eyes were hard.

Stunned by the kiss, for a moment I could only nod stupidly in reply. Then, "Take off your shirt and pants."

"Huh?"

"I'd like to be able to _get at_ your arm and leg, if that's okay with you."

Without another word, he stripped to his boxers. I blushed yet again, but forced myself to remain practical and not stare. I wasn't going to let myself get distracted. There was too much at stake.

Although I didn't want to admit it to Edward, there _was_ a fairly good chance that I was going to "lose myself" in the transmutation. Breaking taboos was NOT a laughing matter. Nevertheless, I was going to try.

"Ready?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I can't guarantee there won't be pain."

"If you're going to do it, then just do it, Elly."

I nodded once and began changing the energy in and around me into something I could use. It filled me readily, just as it had before, flowing through me and waiting for release. Once again, the blue haze clouded everything but the automail. I pictured what I wanted it to look like and went to clap my hands. It felt like there was an enormous force preventing my hands from touching, but I forced my palms to meet. Acting on instinct and trusting that it wouldn't backfire, I reached out and pressed my left hand on Edward's shoulder and my right on his knee. I felt the transmutation occur beneath my palms, but the effort I was expending to alter the energy was quickly draining me. I knew I didn't have to last much longer; the transmutation was almost complete. I heard Edward cry out in agony as his blood rushed to fill his limbs and his nerves kicked in. I screamed in response as I pushed every last ounce of the alchemical energy from my body to complete what I had done.

Finally it was over and Edward and I both collapsed on the floor, sweat covering both of our bodies as we breathed heavily. I closed my eyes as what was left of the energy slipped from my system. I opened them again as my vision cleared.

"Are you alright?" I whispered, listening to the sound of our breathing and the sound of the train's wheels against the tracks. The floor moved rhythmically beneath us.

"Yeah," he whispered back. "You?"

"Just tired…" Tired was an understatement.

"Good. Me too."

Alphonse and Hughes burst into the compartment, white-faced and worried. Al saw us lying on the floor, Ed in his underwear still, and I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"What were you guys just doing?" His voice shook. Hughes eyed Edward suspiciously.

"Wait! Your arm and leg!" he shouted, disbelieving.

Ed nodded wearily.

"How?! Big brother, HOW?!"

"Elly…" he croaked, struggling to raise his voice above a whisper. "She found a way to bend the Laws."

Al was staring at me openmouthed. "Elly? ELLY DID THIS?!"

I nodded, to tired to care if he was angry or excited… maybe both.

"We're not there yet, are we?" My voice didn't quite sound normal, but, once again, I didn't care much.

"No. We still have a while before the train arrives," Hughes answered, fully recovered.

"Good," I almost whimpered. "Is it alright if I sleep for a while, then? Please?"

"Uh, sure." Al and Hughes tore themselves away from us, still curious about what had happened.

I heard them close the door as they left. Edward dragged himself over to me.

"Thank you, Elly," he whispered, burying his face in my hair. "Thank you so much…"

"Edward…" We both struggled against the fatigue for a few moments.

He pulled me towards him and I laid my head against his right shoulder, fully intending to examine my handiwork as soon as I was done sleeping.


	10. Waking Up

As it turned out, though, I didn't get the chance until we finally arrived at Gracia's flower shop. I couldn't recall exactly how we'd gotten there because I'd been asleep for the large majority of the way.

Mrs. Hughes fussed over my ragged state for a short while, then had Edward carry me up the stairs to her only spare bedroom. I fell asleep again before my head hit the pillow, not even attempting to argue about getting the only bed in the room. Ed stayed with me, though, and I was glad for it. He slept on top of the blankets, arms wrapped around my form from behind. I knew that he'd stayed because, when I _finally_ woke up for good, he was there.

I yawned and snuggled closer to him through the blankets. He chuckled. "Hi."

"Hi yourself," I smiled in reply. "Good to see you." I have a tendency to act and talk rather silly in the mornings. But you know what? I don't care.

"Good to see you, too. How do you feel?"

"Fine. You?"

"Great. Thanks for asking."

"Everything working properly? No missing digits?"

"So far it's all good. I've got a question, though."

"Hmmm."

"Why do your eyes glow when you use alchemy here?"

"Huh? What happens to my eyes?"

"They glow. Why do they do that?"

"I honestly have no idea. Strange." I tried to get closer, but the blankets wouldn't allow it.

"No kidding."

Then I remembered something important. "You kissed me," I stated flatly.

"Yes, I did. Do you want me to not do that again."

I flopped around to face him. "You can do that as often as you want to. I'm not going to stop you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. If I kissed you as much as I want to, we'd never do anything else. And that just wouldn't be practical."

I giggled. "Really?"

He kissed me. "Yup."

"Mmmm. Then we'll just have to make do, I guess." I frowned as my stomach made a loud noise. "How long have we been asleep?"

"Al said something about two days when he walked out this morning. Hungry?"

I grinned and kissed him. "Yeah, but I think I need food, too."

He laughed and helped me out of bed. We met Gracia on the stairs. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "You're up! I was just on my way up to check on you. I guess the two of you are hungry? And no wonder. In bed for two whole days and it's noon already. How does toast and eggs sound? I hope you're feeling…" Mrs. Hughes continued to talk until we were munching away happily on our first meal in a while.

Edward sat very close to me, a fact that did not escape my notice. We ate for the better part of an hour, stopping only long enough to refill our plates before our stomachs stopped growling. Afterwards, I dragged Edward back up to the spare room.

"Shirt and pants."

He obliged, although he looked like he was thinking about something all too amusing, and stood in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.

Aside from long knotted scars across his shoulder and thigh where his automail used to be connected to the rest of his body, his arm and leg were acceptable. I was a bit proud of myself.

"You know, I don't think it's fair," he teased, "that you've gotten to see me in my underwear twice this week and I haven't gotten to see _you_ yet."

I laughed but shied away from the idea. "It's not like I haven't seen you in your underwear before."

"True, but it's still not fair."

"Life's not fair. We know that from experience."

"So. C'mon, Elly."

I glared. "There really isn't much of anything to see, Edward."

He closed the distance between us swiftly. "Then you shouldn't mind if I take a peek, right?"

"Edward."

"Yes?"

I glared some more.

"Please?"

"That's pathetic, Edward."

"Hm?"

"You're pouting."

"Is it working?"

More glaring. More pouting. I finally gave in. "Fine."

I began to unbutton my shirt furiously, trying really hard not to swear. Then I felt Edward's hands over mine and let him take over the buttons. I was nervous, but not in the way I should have been. I should have been nervous that it would go too far or that he'd want more than just to see me. No, I wasn't worried about that. After all, the last man who'd tried to push me ended up on the top of a brand-spanking new 125-foot stone pillar. But now I was letting Edward closer to me than I'd let anyone before. I was nervous partly because I knew that I wanted more.

The more sensible side of me, however, was still mostly in control. But that was the side of me that was nervous for other reasons…

My shirt and skirt fell to the floor in a heap, revealing the strange long underwear Mrs. Hughes had forced me into. Edward, deciding immediately that these concealing garments had to be removed and eliminated, proceeded to unbutton these as well. I wasn't really sad to see them go. When I was undressed to his satisfaction, he studied my body carefully. I bit my lip under his gaze.

He reached out and began to trace each one of the long, pale scars that ran along my skin. It took him a while. Each and every one had its own history – its own battle. I could name the kind of blade that had made each one. I could describe every opponent in detail. I had never been ashamed of them until he touched them. They were a part of who I was and who I had been. But as his warm fingers gently followed the shapes, I – it was if – … I don't know how to explain how I felt.

His eyes continued to roam my skin. "Elly?" he whispered.

"Some people don't get along very well with me," I laughed humorlessly. It was a harsh and bitter sound. "And sometimes being a state alchemist isn't as easy as it seems."

He moved to my back and I felt his hands on my shoulders. "And this?" I closed my eyes as I remembered the occasion that had been the cause of the crisscrossing pattern that covered my back and shoulders. I sometimes still dreamt of the wooden post in the middle of the courtyard, the steel cuffs biting into my wrists as I listened to the whip whistling overhead.

"Apparently I'm not that great at following foreign laws." I went to retrieve my clothes, but Edward stopped me. "You wanted to see," I pointed out, refusing to meet his gaze. I didn't want his pity. I didn't feel like I deserved it, in any case.

"I'm sorry, Elly. I never should have left."

"You didn't have a choice. And you were here for a bunch of them anyway."

"I was?"

"Homunculi aren't overly easy things to kill."

"I never realized –"

"You never should have." I grimaced at the new scars on his shoulder and leg. "Now we match, I guess."

"That's not funny."

"Edward. Does it matter to you?"

"It matters to me that you went through so much pain, but it doesn't damage my opinion of you, if that's what you're asking."

"The pain was unavoidable most times."

"And each one –"

"– has a story to go along with it."

"How many did you lose?"

"Only one," I grimaced. "But I don't have any scars from that encounter. The Truth apparently wouldn't let me get killed, so this is what I have to show for it."

"Huh?"

"I tried really hard to get myself killed in that first year. But when I finally found myself standing outside the Gate, the Truth just told me to stop. It said that there were still things that I had to live for and that I should stop trying to die before someone else got hurt. I'm glad now that I listened. It was right. And that was the only battle I ever lost."

"Why did you want to die so much?"

I hesitated. "Do you remember when Riza Hawkeye thought Roy was dead in the fight with Lust? Do you remember how she gave up and waited for Lust to just kill her and end it? Yeah. It was something like that. Except for I had to go looking for death when Riza had it right in front of her."

I felt Edward's hands slip around my waist. "I'm glad you didn't find it."

I laid my head on his bare chest and let him hold me. "Me too."

We stood there for a short while, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly, Edward's head snapped to the door. "Al's coming." We scrambled to get our clothes back on and finished just in time.

I was buttoning the top button of my shirt when Al knocked on the door.

"Come in," Ed called rolling up his sleeves to his elbows.

"You're sure?"

"Al, come on. You know better."

Edward's younger brother shyly peaked through the door and entered the room, blushing madly. I rolled my eyes. Did he seriously think Edward and I were stupid/hormonal enough to go at it with everyone downstairs?

An awkward silence followed.

"I guess we should decide when we're going back," I commented, almost desperate to get rid of the awkwardness.

"When _can_ we?" Al's face brightened.

I shrugged. "Whenever we want to, really. I guess it would be better if there weren't so many people around, though."

"Why?"

"Because when I came through from Roy's office. I landed myself in front of the flower shop. I'm hoping that if we go back through in the same place, we'll end up back in Headquarters."

"Sounds good. How's tonight?" Edward was trying very hard not to seem overly excited. Unfortunately for him, Alphonse and I knew him far too well for him to succeed at that.

"Okay. Roy's probably going to be working late anyway. We'll have to go one at a time."

"Al's first."

"You're next."

"Elly," he complained.

"I have to be last," I explained, "because I have to open it for the two of you before I can go through. I won't be long behind you."

"What are we going to tell the Hugheses?"

"They know," Edward and I answered simultaneously.

"Oh. Even little Elysia?"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her at this point."

"Oh. Elly?"

"Yyesss?"

"How's Winry?"

I should have guessed. "I haven't seen her, but last I heard she'd opened up shop in Central for a while. She finished her apprenticeship in Rush Valley. I'm pretty sure she's doing well for herself." What, you think I'd lie to Al? Psh. He's too sweet to lie to.

"Do – do you think she misses me?" Al was turning red. See what I mean? How could I lie to that?

I smiled. "Without a doubt. But you'll see her soon."

He nodded. "Thanks, Elly."

When had he grown up? He'd been such an innocent little boy before I'd disappeared. Now he'd gone and fallen in love and I'd missed it! Some friend I am.

"I think I'm going to get my normal clothes back from Mrs. Hughes. This skirt thing is getting annoying." No joke. I hated wearing skirts. "I'll see you guys later."

I politely left the room, but Edward decided to follow me. I decided that it wouldn't do any good to object.

Gracia said she'd left my clothes in the laundry room near the kitchen. As I gathered them together from a basket of clean laundry, Edward slouched into a small wooden chair in the corner.

"You're planning on staying?" I cocked an eyebrow at him even as I began to take off my shirt.

He shrugged. "I can leave if you want me to."

I considered that for a moment, then shook my head indifferently and proceeded to change.

I slipped on my black denim pants and my gray high-collared shirt. Sighing happily at the simple pleasure of wearing _pants_ again, I pulled my dark green coat on over top of everything else. I replaced my silver pocket watch to it's rightful place in my pants pocket and jumped in surprise as Edward nipped at the skin of my neck.

"Green?" he murmured.

"Mhmmm." I was paying more attention to his actions than his words.

"I'll have to change my coat color, then. Red and green only go together at Christmas time."

I totally thought he was joking. "That won't do at all."

"Maybe blue," he mused. "What do you think?"

"What makes you think I'm going to keep wearing green?"

He shrugged. "Al took my coat anyway."

"You're serious?"

"Yup. You thought I was joking?"

"Well…"

"So what do you think about blue?"


	11. Home at Last

Leaving to go back home was a bittersweet feeling. While we were immensely excited to finally return to Amestris, we knew that we would have to leave behind our friends in the other world – namely the Hughes family. None of us wanted to say goodbye to the smiling face the adorable one-year-old Elysia, and we knew we'd even miss Mr. Hughes's photographs.

As the time for our departure grew nearer and the streets began to empty, Ed, Al, and I grew increasingly downhearted. Although we promised time and time again to visit as often as possible, we all knew it would be extremely difficult to uphold that promise.

The streets emptied too quickly and the sun sank below the horizon before we were ready, but we knew that we'd stayed away too long already. Even so, all six of us tried our hardest to find a reason to delay. Mr. Hughes even resorted to complaining about the three of us being outside past curfew. In the end, though, all of our feeble arguments were silenced and we resigned ourselves to goodbye. After tear-filled hugs and a few empty laughs, Edward, Alphonse, and I dragged ourselves around the corner of the flower shop.

Edward kept careful watch as I opened the Gate for Al. The younger alchemist turned and hugged me warmly.

"Sorry. I just hadn't gotten around to doing that yet," he grinned.

I smiled back and ushered him through, unsure of how long I could hold it open. The Gate shut itself less than a second after Al disappeared through the opening. Edward was staring at it in awe.

"You're next," I prompted softly.

He took my shoulders in his hands and kissed me roughly. "Don't hurt yourself, Elly."

I smiled, "Hurry," and opened the Gate for him. He stepped through and left me alone on the empty streets of Germany.

I took a deep breath and shoved whatever doubts I had out of my mind. Hardening my resolve, I shifted the energy around me, opened the Gate once more, and slipped between the edges of the opening, fully expecting to come face to face with the Truth. It was extremely relieving to find myself standing in the middle of Mustang's office in Central. Nothing had gone wrong.

Until I felt Mustang's fist connect with my face, that is. I staggered with the impact, trying to clear my head. Ducking just in time to avoid another blow, I spun away and dropped to a crouch. I watched his shadow move in the dark room and swept my leg underneath his feet, bringing him to the ground even as the lights in the office snapped on. Roy started swearing profusely.

"Dammit, Elly! Why didn't you tell me it was you?!"

"Who the hell else would it be?!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Did you attack Ed and Al too?!"

"Ed and Al are here?"

"Who do you think turned on the lights, dumbass?"

"I dunno."

"They came through first, genius. How come you didn't see them?"

He shrugged. "I'd gone for a cup of coffee. Why are you in my office so late?"

"It was the only time the streets were empty. So how come you didn't see Ed and Al before you saw me?"

"We hid behind the desk when we heard the doorknob turn," Alphonse shrugged, emerging from behind a large stack of unsigned papers with a grinning Edward. "I thought it might be better to wait for you to show up before we let someone else see us."

"How'd you turn the lights on from all the way over there?"

Edward laughed and displayed a socked foot. "I threw a shoe at the switch."

"Nice shot."

"If I hadn't made it the first time I had three more tries."

"Three?"

"Al's wearing shoes, too."

Mustang was staring openmouthed at the Elric brothers.

"You – you did it…" he whispered, awestruck. "I almost didn't believe you could…"

I glared at him. "Then why the hell did you order me to go?"

"It's part of my job to keep you from getting killed. Rage is obviously not a minor annoyance and I don't have any bodyguards left to spare – other than Hawkeye of course, but that's out of the question."

"You are aware that there's a huge war going on over there, aren't you?"

"No. Are you serious?"

"Good job, Roy. You sent her from one war zone into another? If anything, she was _less_ safe in that world! You idiot!" Edward was coming around the desk, fists clenched tightly at his sides and gritting his teeth against his anger.

"Calm down, Fullmetal. She's fine, isn't she? And I won't make the same mistake twice. I won't send her back until that war's over."

"She could have appeared in the middle of a battlefield! How would you feel if she got shot?!"

"Actually, I doubt I'd know about it."

Edward looked as if he were about to explode. "YOU'D KNOW ABOUT IT WHEN I TOLD YOU!!"

"No you wouldn't. You wouldn't have known either. So there."

Alphonse and I decided to step in before someone got seriously hurt. "Roy, stop antagonizing Edward. Just because you're a bastard by nature doesn't mean you can act on it the second we get back." "Brother, he didn't know. His intentions were good." "Just making up for lost time, Elly. You know I'd feel terrible if something had happened." "Fine, Al. But he's got it coming… soon."

A tense silence followed.

"It really is good to see you two again," said Roy, sincere. "We've got to find somewhere for you three to stay tonight. I don't think sleeping in my office is a very plausible idea."

"So who's in town?" I asked.

"Well, you could stay with me or Riza if you want. I'm sure she'd be glad to see you."

"Well, considering the circumstances, I don't think we should stay at your place." I glanced at the still fuming Edward.

"Oh, and Winry Rockbell's around here somewhere."

Al's face lit up at Winry's name. "Winry's in Central."

"I _think_ so. I can't think of any reason why she'd have left."

Al looked pleadingly at Edward and I. Edward wasn't paying attention. He was still trying to calm down. "Looks like the decision's made, Roy. I don't think we could keep Al from going straight to Winry if we tried."

Edward chuckled, releasing his anger. Surprise was the dominant expression on Roy's face. "Alphonse and Winry?"

Al blushed deep red, sending Edward and I into a fit of laughter.

Winry was, in fact, in Central and was overjoyed that we were home at last. We could hear her over the phone from three feet away when Roy called her to ask if the three of us could stay at her apartment that night.

Alphonse was trying his hardest not to break out into a run as we got out of the car in front of the apartment complex. As it was, he was getting frustrated with how slowly the rest of us were moving. But as we got closer and closer to Winry's front door, Al seemed to get more and more nervous. He was still excited to see her, but it was almost as if he was having second thoughts about seeing her so _soon._

Edward had to knock on the door. When Winry answered, we all filed in, smiles on our faces. Alphonse was last, a serious look in his soft brown eyes.

"Al," Winry whispered, blue eyes even wider than usual. She tried to shake it off. "Ummm… you cut your hair," she commented, eyes flickering to the place where Al's long ponytail used to be. Al swore and gave up the struggle with his nervousness. He quickly closed the distance between him and Winry, taking her into his arms and kissing her deeply.

I felt incredibly proud. Al was like a brother to me, and seeing him kiss the woman he loved like that made me very, very happy. So happy, in fact, that a very wide grin spread across my face. Edward had one to match. Roy just looked increasingly shocked. No doubt he was feeling old now that his little alchemists were growing up. Luckily he didn't start crying.

They broke apart, Winry's fingers still entwined in Al's hair. Suddenly her blue eyes grew hard. "Alphonse Elric, don't you dare even _think_ about _ever_ leaving me again."

He smiled. "That won't be a problem. I'll just take you with me."

Roy coughed and completely ruined the moment. Edward and I glared at him, but Al and Winry seemed to be okay with it for a while.

Winry set up sleeping bags on the floor of the living room. Initially, Edward and I had been stationed on separate sides of the room, but we moved them together after Roy left to go home and no one else objected to the arrangement. Al ditched his sleeping bag altogether. We didn't see him until the next morning, but I'm sure that Winry knew _exactly_ where he was the whole night.

sigh When had Al gotten so much older than me? Figuratively speaking, of course.

"Now what would General Mustang say if he knew we were sleeping so close to each other?" I teased as we lay down next to each other on top of the sleeping bags. His hair was down and pooled around his shoulders on the pillow, bangs falling back to reveal his face.

"Maybe he'd have a heart attack," he snickered. "God knows he's old enough."

"I really wish I'd had a camera when Al kissed Winry."

Ed imitated the face, feeling free to take artistic license with the expression.

I collapsed into giggles.

"I'm sure he'd have kept that in mind as he had you court marshaled for disrespecting your superiors."

"It so would have been worth it."

"So what did you do?"

"Hmm?"

"C'mon. You didn't sit around on your ass for four years, did you? What did you do?"

"Travelled. I never stayed in one place for long. I even took a ship out to the islands off the coast of Xing, but even then I didn't stay for more than a week. It was a beautiful place, but I felt like I had to keep moving. I learned a lot though. At this point I know a little bit about almost everything.

"When did you learn about the Gate?"

"While I was out and about. I just kind of came across it by accident. After a village shaman taught me how to manipulate the energies in the environment, I experimented a little bit and discovered that I could open it myself."

"And the alchemy on the other side?"

"Same basic idea."

"You're far too clever for your own good, do you know that?"

"Of course."

"Modest too."

I snickered.

"But you know what? I'm really glad for it."

I grinned and laid my head on his bare shoulder. He ran his fingers through my short hair until we both fell asleep. For the second night in a row, I was not plagued with nightmares.

- - - -

The smell of frying bacon and burning toast wafted into the living room and I drowsily realized that Winry was trying to cook breakfast.

Edward woke up about the same time I did and wrinkled his nose at the smell. I giggled at his expression and kissed him good morning.

"Morning," he groaned, clearly still wanting to be asleep.

"Morning," I chimed, amused. "Sleep well?"

"Of course not. I slept with _you,_ remember?"

I laughed.

"What, did I say something wrong?" he asked with feigned innocence.

"Pervert."

"It's your inkblot."

I rolled my eyes and nestled my face into his neck. The smell of burning toast grew stronger until it became uncomfortable to breathe it in. I sighed, wishing I didn't have to get up yet.

"I guess we should go save Winry from the toast."

The two of us dragged ourselves and each other off the floor and Edward pulled on a shirt as we trudged into the tiny kitchen.

In Winry's defense, the burning toast wasn't entirely her fault. Stray automail parts, an already broken toaster, and a new lover have the tendency to produce burnt toast when combined in one room. As Edward and I observed the cluttered room before us, Winry hit Al with a spatula and they both told us good morning. The mechanic was so distracted that she almost began to flip the bacon over with the wrench she was holding in another hand. Upon further thought, she threw the wrench at Edward over her shoulder. It hit him in the head, as always.

"Ow! What was that for?!" he exclaimed rubbing the spot where the wrench had landed.

Winry shrugged. "Old time's sake. It had been a while. So how's your automail? Have you been taking care of it?"

Edward glared. "I'm tempted to say 'no,' but it doesn't really matter whether I have been or not at this point, so I guess I'll lie and say yes."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?! If you don't take care of it, it won't work right and I'll have to fix it again and again and again!" Winry shouted until she was red in the face. Edward started laughing.

"Winry, calm down. Look!" He waved his right hand at her. "Good as new."

She darted over to inspect it. "It looks so _real_. Who made it? How did they make it? How can I learn how to make it? That's really awesome automail –"

"It _is_ real. It's not automail at all."

She froze. "Not… automail…?"

"Nope."

"Who?"

"Elly."

"Elly?"

I grinned and nodded once. "The leg, too."

"How? I thought it was impossible…"

I felt kind of awkward. Should I tell her the truth? If I told her it was alchemy, would she expect me to be able to do it again? I knew that I wouldn't be able to give back the lost limbs of all her customers, but I didn't want to lie to her. "I don't know exactly how it works. It's sort of like alchemy, but it works in the other world. It's really draining, though. It took me two full days to recover to the point where I could use any kind of alchemy again. I don't think I'll be able to do it here. Maybe it's better that I can't…"

She paused, as if in hesitation. "That's so cool! How long did it take you to learn that?"

"About four years, actually…"

"Oh." Winry, as always, wasn't one to linger on a finished conversation, and for that I was thankful. "So, I have a customer coming in later this morning for repairs. Just letting you know." The doorbell rang right on cue. "I said_ later_ this morning," she muttered.

"I'll go see who it is." Al reluctantly left Winry's side to answer the door. Winry asked me to take care of the bacon in the pan as she went to follow him. I solemnly picked up the spatula and fiddled with the bacon, lost in thought. The way Winry had said "Oh" had bothered me for some reason and I wasn't sure why. I didn't know why I was still thinking about it. Not long ago, I wouldn't have cared if Winry had called me a bitch to my face. Not long before that, I would have welcomed a fight with her. Now, though, I was upset if she sounded the least bit disappointed. Why?

My mouth began to water, but it wasn't from want of breakfast. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to push away my thoughts. "I shouldn't have stayed away for so long," I said softly to no one in particular. "I was so absorbed in my own fucking pain that I ran away like a spoiled child when I should have stayed. Stupid. So fucking stupid. I couldn't – I wouldn't – see that other people – people who I called my friends – were hurting, too. And instead of going through it with them like I should have I abandoned them. And in abandoning them I abandoned myself. I caused more pain in their lives because I wouldn't face my own. I caused so much pain… How can I ever make up for that? I could spend the rest of my life trying and never be able to pay for the time I took away from my friends. How?"

"You can't, Elly." I wasn't really surprised when Edward answered me. Maybe I was glad that he had. "The consequences of leaving will always be there to haunt you. But you'll never have to make up for it. You'll never have to pay for the time. That's the beauty of forgiveness – of grace. It makes life not fair."

"Grace…"

"They all forgive you, Elly. They love you and understand why you did what you did. They _forgive _you. All that's left is for you to forgive yourself."

I absorbed his words and the meaning behind them. Grace… Could I forgive myself for what I had and had not done in the past four years? Was there too much? But Edward's words kept echoing through my mind. "You'll never have to make up for it," he had said. Didn't I?

"Besides," he said, hugging me. "There's been some good come out of it. Look at what you're capable of doing now that you wouldn't have been if you hadn't left. You can pass between worlds of your own accord. You can bend the Laws. And look at how much you've grown. You're a different person than you were four years ago. You wouldn't be you if you'd stayed here."

I chuckled. "How do you do that, Edward?"

"Do what?"

"Know exactly what to say to make me feel better?"

"Oh, that. Good thing, too. I don't think you want to be crying in front of Roy and Riza."

I smiled, the burden on my heart having been lightened, and hugged him. "Thanks, Ed," I murmured softly as Mustang and Hawkeye came into the kitchen with smiles on their faces. Well, Mustang was smiling until he saw me and Ed hugging each other.

"Well finally," Hawkeye exclaimed. "I thought it was never going to happen."

Edward and I broke apart, confused looks on both of our faces.

"The two of you are _finally_ together. Took you long enough."

Roy feigned horror. "Oh my god. Edward and Elly are together? The world is going to end."

"Considering your reaction to Al and Winry last night, you're taking this a lot better than I expected," I commented.

Riza hugged the two of us warmly. "Well, we weren't quite expecting that one so soon, but it looks like Alphonse grew up while we weren't looking. Anyway, it's good to have the three of you back."

For the first time I noticed a dark bruise underneath Roy's eye. "What the hell happened to you?"

He grimaced. "Guess who I met up with last night…"

"Knowing you, it could be anybody," teased Edward. "Guess you picked up a tough one this time."

"Rage, dumbass," he scowled. "We had a little chat."

Rage had caught up with Roy? There was a tense silence. "No one goes anywhere alone," I muttered. "We got lucky this time. We can't afford to be caught off guard again."

"She's right," said Al, entering the room with Winry.

Edward nodded. "Roy stays with Riza. I'll stay with Elly. And Armstrong keeps an eye on Alphonse and Winry."

"Why do I get stuck with Armstrong?" Al complained.

"Because you're my little brother and I say so."

"That's not fair."

"Fine," I cut in. "Because _I_ say so and I currently outrank you. So there."

He glared at me, but keeping him and Winry safe was worth it. Armstrong was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. In all actuality, Al probably was too, but I wasn't about to let him take chances with his life. The rest of us were partnered up with people who would be useful if it came to a fight – which it eventually would. Winry would try to help, but flying wrenches end up being hazardous to both parties.

"When we can, all seven of us should stay together."

"That means we should all sleep in the same place."

"We can stay at my place, if you want," Riza suggested. "It's kind of small but it's close to Headquarters and there are other military personnel around, so we won't have to worry about being attacked at night."

"Sounds good," said Roy. "But we can't all stay there during the day."

I shrugged. "We want Rage to find us so we can stop the killing, don't we? So we all go out into the city during the day and let ourselves be seen. It shouldn't take her long to make her move."

Something occurred to Alphonse. "We're traveling in twos? Hasn't Rage been killing us off by twos?"

Roy grinned. "There's a reason why we're the last state alchemists left."

"So we'll head over to Hawkeye's house after breakfast and my customer." Winry seemed satisfied with the proceedings, though she was squeezing Alphonse's hand as if she were worried.


	12. Hallway discussions

(3rd Person POV)

_(3__rd__ Person POV)_

Riza Hawkeye pulled Edward aside as the group arrived at her small apartment-like home and got settled. The alchemist had been about to follow Elly through the door, but Hawkeye's expression told him that she needed to talk to him.

The two walked out further into the hallway and sat down against the wall.

"She scared us, you know," the Lieutenant began, staring at the opposite wall. "It was painful for all of us, but it was far worse for her. After you disappeared, it was almost as if the part of her that felt had died with you. She wasn't the Elly we knew anymore. She'd been replaced by the cold, empty shell of what she had been before. For the first few days, she wandered around town as if she were looking for something she couldn't find. You see, the rest of us believed that you were still alive somewhere. We tried to move on anyway, but we never really believed you were dead. Elly struggled with that. She'd watched you die with her own eyes. She'd watched the alchemy consume your body as you disappeared. Part of her believed you were alive, just like we did, but it didn't make sense in her mind. The reality of what she'd seen was too much. Then one day she just disappeared. She didn't leave a note. She didn't call. She took her stuff and left without a word. We tried to follow her, but we couldn't find any sign of her. Eventually we gave up and let her be. We thought she'd come back after a few months or a year. Every once in a while we got some news about where she was and what she was doing and Roy would send out dozens of letters, telling her to come home. Sometimes she wrote back and told him to leave her alone, but I doubt she read many of the letters. We felt like we'd lost her completely. Even when we wrote that you were alive she didn't respond. We understood to some extent, but I don't think we could have understood all of it. It hurt us to know that she was in so much pain. Roy kept sending the letters, and a few days ago she showed up outside Roy's office as if she'd never been gone. He said she looked part dead. She was hard and cold and unemotional. Until Roy told her you were alive, then she pretty much exploded on him."

"She really regrets leaving, you know," Edward said softly, looking at the ground. "It's eating her up, knowing that she hurt you guys so much."

Riza smiled. "But she learned a lot while she was gone. If she hadn't left, she never would have been able to bring you back. And if she can do that, I can't even begin to imagine what else she's learned. She's stronger for it. We all are."

"Heh, yeah. But she doesn't see it that way. If she'd stayed, she'd have been able to help with the Shamballa incident. She might have even come back with me, if she'd wanted."

"Do you really believe that?"

Edward thought about it for a minute. "Actually, I'd probably have stayed here if she'd asked me to."

"Then you really love her?"

"Of course! Why would you think otherwise?"

"Well, I was half afraid you were doing this because you felt like you had to repay her for what she'd done – bringing you back home and restoring your arm and leg. You knew that she's loved you for a long time and she'd want to be with you, so I wasn't sure if you were doing it because she wanted you to or because you wanted to."

Edward was genuinely shocked. "I never – … She's loved me for a long time?"

Riza nodded. "Didn't you know?"

He shook his head, amazed. "I'm an idiot… Of course, I wouldn't be with her if she didn't want me to," he said, getting back to the previous issue, "but I really do want to be with her. I realized that after I left the second time. Just thinking about her hurt. When I saw her in that tavern in France I swear my heart stopped. I didn't know how she'd gotten there or why she'd come. All I could think about was that she was there, standing in front of me, and that I couldn't let her go again. Paying her back never even occurred to me until you said it…"

"Good. It wouldn't be fair to her if you didn't love her. She's been through too much… And now she's more happy than anyone's seen her in a very long time…"

Roy poked his head out the door and called to them, wondering why the hell they were sitting in the hall.

Edward and Riza pushed themselves up from the floor and somberly came back to the apartment. Roy couldn't keep the slightly worried expression from showing in his eyes. As Riza noticed it, she stiffened almost unnoticeably, but relaxed instantly. But Roy noticed the reaction anyway.

The day wore on as Edward waited to talk to Elly. He wanted to do it later that night when everyone else was asleep, but his impatience was getting to him. Nevertheless, he kept himself under control and waited. It seemed like forever before the sun went down and even longer before everyone had gone to bed.

Everyone was spread out around the room in sleeping bags. After around ten minutes, Ed was sure everyone was asleep. He rolled quietly out of his sleeping bag and carefully crossed the room to where Elly was sleeping. Placing his hand over her mouth to keep her from making any unnecessary noises, he gently shook her. Her eyes snapped open as her hands darted to her belt where she normally kept a small knife hidden.

"Easy, Elly," He murmured. "C'mon. I need to talk to you."

Elly's eyes were curious as she followed Edward out the front door and into the hall. "What's wrong, Edward?"

He slid down the wall to sit on the floor. "I talked to Hawkeye earlier…"

"About what?" she laughed, sliding down the wall beside him.

"About your reaction when I… left…"

Elly's face fell. "Oh," she said lamely. "That…"

"Yeah… She said it was more difficult for you than it was for the rest of them because you struggled with seeing me die…"

"No fooling Hawkeye…"

"But if you were there when Envy killed me, didn't you see when Al brought my soul back?"

"I was a little distraught at the time, but yes, I watched Al transmute himself to bring you back to life. I also watched you bring _him_ back by transmuting yourself. Your body was torn to shreds in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I thought you had died twice and I had done nothing… I could do nothing… I felt powerless and weak and alone as I watched from a balcony as Envy killed you the first time and again as you were ripped apart by the fires of alchemy. Al had faith that you were still alive, and he convinced everyone else to believe the same. But I didn't know what I could believe. I _wanted_ to believe that you weren't dead – that you were alive and well someplace else – but I didn't know how to look past the things I had seen…"

The two were silent for a few moments.

"She also said that…" Edward hesitated.

"Yes?"

"Well… she said that you've… loved me… for a long time…"

Elly didn't know what to say to that, but she took a gamble and told the truth. "Yeah…" she whispered.

Edward looked surprised. "Really?"

Elly refused to look at him, but nodded her head.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Well," Elly began, still debating over whether or not she should tell him the whole story. "You were… It didn't matter before."

"What do you mean it didn't matter? Of course it mattered, Elly!"

Elly shook her head, groping for the words to explain what she meant. "You didn't want me before. You loved Winry… a lot… So, because I loved you I respected that you loved _her_ and I put my own feelings aside so that I wouldn't interfere. I didn't want to be… jealous of you and Winry. So, it didn't matter what I felt before because I felt that you took priority over that…"

"How could you _possibly_ think that?"

"I was a friend, nothing more than that. I knew that and so did you. At first I hated Winry because you loved her. But when I got to know her, I couldn't hate her for that. Then I came to realize that if you loved her, I had no excuse to hate her if I loved you. Even if I hadn't come to that conclusion I still would have grown to love Winry like my sister. She's just that kind of person. She's too happy to be hated." Elly chuckled at that, but Ed remained silent. "It hurt, of course. But it didn't matter to me that it hurt. So long as you were happy, it was worth it all."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I chose not to. There were a lot of things that were more important to me than telling you."

Sorry, but I got a little tired of writing in first person. D. If anyone has any ideas on how I can make Elly seem less "mary-sue"-ish, _please_ let me know! Thanks!

I promise it'll get a little bit more interesting in the next chapter! Sorry.


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